It is with great joy that I introduce you to my bestie, Marcie Bridges. This is one of those friendships that began online and blossomed into the real deal. Marcie has cried with me, schemed with me, traveled with me, and laughed with me — oh mercy! The laughter. She is affectionately known among friend circles as “Miss Pollyanna” because she can always find the silver lining in EVERYTHING.
Marcie is a very talented poet — in fact, poetry oozes out of this girl. Seriously. She included a poem at the end of her testimony that commemorates her day of surrender to the Lord.
To know Marcie is to love her. I know the words of her heart will give you strength for the journey.
Welcome to Faith Notes, Marcie!
I wanted to die.
Laying face down on the living room carpet, I cried out to God. I told Him I couldn’t do it anymore. Something had to give. Either I needed to be in heaven, or He needed to fix my situation.
On Friday morning, January 27, 2006, I surrendered myself and my situation to God. Little did I know what surrendering truly meant.
The following Sunday morning dawned chilly and just as dreary as the other days. I had no desire to attend church. My husband had left with the band he played electric guitar in to do a gig in South Carolina. Even though the girls and I would be late, I decided to go to church anyway.
After the service the girls begged me to get them doughnuts, so we made our way to the grocery store.
We never got there.
As I cruised through a yellow light there was a loud bang. The next thing I knew, our minivan was sitting in the middle of the intersection. Blood streamed from my hands. My oldest daughter was screaming. The window beside me had shattered.
Our van was a complete mess. The entire left side caved in, the left front tire…where was it? Thankfully, I was the one most hurt.
Later, I lay on a gurney in the hospital, tears sliding down my cheeks. How was I going to tell my husband what I had done?
You see, over the years I had tried my hardest to keep our finances together, but the harder I tried, the more in debt we got. By 2006, I knew we were in extreme trouble. The problem? I had been hiding it all from my husband. How would we get a new car? What would he think? I was sure he would leave me and the girls. Our marriage had been unhappy and in tangles for several years.
But I want you to know what mercy looks like.
Mercy was my husband taking me into his arms and telling me how much he loved me.
Mercy was my husband telling me he’d never leave me.
Mercy was my husband praying with me.
Mercy was him helping me—helping us—out of the enormous hole I’d put us in.
It’s been 12 years since that accident and I’m still learning lessons from it. I’m learning that God really does work all things for the good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I’m learning He truly does supply all of our needs (Philippians 4:19). I’m learning to trust Him fully, and keep my eyes focused on Him no matter what circumstance I am in.
I’m learning to praise Him, even when it’s the last thing I feel like doing.
God didn’t fix our situation overnight. It’s taken a lot of work on each of our parts to learn to trust each other again. We’ve had to rely on God to get us through each hard spot and our marriage is better than it has ever been.
Oh and that new car situation? Well, I didn’t think it was possible way back then. I was sure I would wind up with a “well used” car.
But there was one more act of mercy for God to give.
He gave me the car of my dreams (and at 250,000 miles it still runs great today!)
Dear friend, if you are in a hard situation — you think you can’t get out. All hope is lost and you may as well be dead. Think again. Go to Jesus and ask Him for help. Ask Him to bring someone in your life who can show you how to keep living. Someone who can pray with you and encourage you. Someone who will keep pointing you to Jesus.
God is good at that—bringing people into our lives at just the right time to help us through our darkest night.
People who carry mercy with them.
I was so scared, so afraid,
fear had settled in with shame
I looked for God but He was not there
I couldn’t find Him not even in prayer.
The thunder rolled, lightening flashed,
my face awash in the rain that lashed.
The emptiness so hard to bear
I clung to guilt, loneliness and despair.
Where was the One I thought would help me?
I had thought He’d cared all these years
but all I knew was a deep, dark fear.
One day it came so completely
my thoughts had blurred my sight so weak.
I knew it was the end right then
No turning back, it was finally here.
I said to God, “I can’t take it anymore!
Whatever You want, here, it is Yours.
I can’t find You so if You are there
You’re going to have to make it clear.
Don’t care how You do it, just whatever it is,
make it swift … I’m at the end of a chain,
at the end of my rope, I have no more hope.
And the way down is so far, so deep, I don’t know
where I’ll fall only You can know. If You’re there.”
It seemed to be days before I knew He was listening.
It happened so fast I didn’t know it was coming.
My strength was so gone, I cried for so long,
I knew what He had done but I just had to ask,
“Why God? Why this way?”
He said, “You told Me you wanted My help so here I am,
it may not be how you wanted it but I know what’s best.
Just trust Me right here, right now and you’ll see
what comes out of this will make you free.”
It has been several years later and free I do feel.
And oh how amazing the grace that has healed.
It didn’t happen quickly or even in a blink,
the fear has been replaced with unsurpassing peace.
My heart is so thankful, so full of love,
what a joy to know He is there up above.
Watching and waiting and letting me know
He was there all along, I just had to let go.
– Marcell Warner Bridges
©12, January 2009
More about Marcie:
Marcie Bridges is a lover of God, people, poetry, and chocolate. She is also a freelance editor. Marcie’s deepest passion is sharing her faith through poetry and is the author of Broken and Spilled Out: an offering of poetry and prayers for the hurting soul. She lives in Western N.C. with her husband, Mark, and two daughters. You can find contact Marcie through her website: www.marciebridges.com or at firstname.lastname@example.org
Book Available at:
About the Book
Are you feeling broken? Needing a place to find rest for your weary, worn out soul? Broken and Spilled Out: An Offering of Poetry and Prayers for the Hurting Soul is a collection of poems Marcie has written chronicling her journey from places of brokenness to healing. You will also find places to rest and pour out your own prayerful thoughts within the pages of this heart stirring book.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,