by Nan Jones @NanJonesAuthor
The reflection of my aging face stared at me from the surface of the shining red Christmas ornament. All around is glitz and glitter – holiday bling, but deep inside my light seems dim. Like many, I’m going through the motions, but in the midst of enormous personal loss some days Christmas joy seems futile.
I’m ashamed to admit that. It’s not pretty, I know.
What is Christmas joy anyway? Is it hustling and bustling in a crazed frenzy to meet everyone’s expectations? Is it spending money we don’t have to spend? Is it darting about making everything perfect?
Or is Christmas joy found in the Savior’s comfort when a stream of tears wets my face with no warning?
Is Christmas joy found in the hug of one who knows my loss and tells me of God’s faithfulness to carry us across the troubled waters?
What about a Christmas joy found so deeply rooted that it has nothing to do with our hoopla of expectations, but instead has everything to do with knowing the One born in a lowly stable to reconcile us to a holy God?
My constant prayer of late has been that the Lord would draw me closer – that He would receive the offering of myself to Him – my gift. All week long, over and over again, words from a song rang out in my spirit, “draw me nearer.” I couldn’t remember any other lyrics, but the song’s phrase became my prayer – my prayer for joy, my prayer for peace this Christmas.
Then I remembered the source of the song. It’s Keith and Kristyn Getty’s song, “Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer.” I scoured YouTube until I found it for you. Here are the lyrics:
As I labor through the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I’ll follow, though I’m worn
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Jesus, guide me through the tempest
Keep my spirit stayed and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at your throne
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Christmas joy is hope in my despair, laughter in my sorrow, and peace in my fear.
Christmas joy is found in the One who beckons us to come to Him, to draw nearer than ever before.
Let us all prepare Him room.
“You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” ~ Psalm 16:11
A Tweetable to Encourage Others
Where is God when I have no Christmas joy? @NanJonesAuthor offers a glimpse. (click to tweet)
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If you received Morning Glory via email, please visit the Morning Glory page to listen to Kristyn Getty recite the poem, Watches of the Night, and then sing Jesus Draw Me Nearer. You will be blessed beyond measure and given strength for the journey.
Thank you, Nan! I needed this right now! You are a blessing!
And you are a blessing also! I'm so thankful this encouraged you.
I love this song. I discovered it awhile back. I also love this, "Christmas joy is found in the One who beckons us to come to Him, to draw nearer than ever before." I, too, am wanting to be moved closer to see Jesus and know Him better than ever before. Thank you for the blessing of this post. 🙂
I love it too and the Truth it holds. I'm so thankful this encouraged you.
Oh, Nan, this wrapped itself around my heart today. I've been struggling in the same ways. It's be a Christmas season of struggle to find the joy, contentment, and energy I think I should have. My word for next year is JOY. I'm realizing the only way I can experience joy when my heart wants to whine is to practice gratitude every day. There is always something to consider a blessing. You are my blessing today. Hugs, sweet friend.
How sweet of you Karen. Thank you. Yes, we have similar struggles. I have certainly been learning that His grace really is amazing! Practicing gratitude is absolutely wonderful and breaks the chains that bind our hearts. I'm learning to think on those things which are lovely and pure and worthy of praise. You have encouraged me so much today. Thank you.
There are so many of us grieving in this Christmas season, and I've decided that it's ok. Jesus knows our every need and our hurts don't take a holiday. You remain in my prayers and I also know that even in our pain, He does bring times of joy and peace. Thankfully, those times are precious and will multiply as we heal. Love you Sister.