by Nan Jones @NanJonesAuthor
The oak rocking chair embraced me with its soothing motion. I rubbed the end of the armrest, lulling my anxious thoughts into an exhausted stillness. My tissue was tattered and torn from the insistent torrent of tears.
Lord, I need You. I feel like my world is collapsing around me. Everything is so fragmented. Nothing makes sense. I don’t understand why everything is a struggle. Why, Lord? My heart is weary; my spirit is drained. Fill my cup with You. I choose You, Lord. I choose You over everything the world has to offer. You’re my source of strength, my peace. Draw me close to You.
A refreshing breeze calmed me as I rocked and hummed “The Old Rugged Cross.” Something about that old hymn stirs my spirit: “So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down; I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it someday for a crown.” Over and over, the words flowed like liquid love through my parched spirit.
I pictured the cross on which Jesus died for me so that I would never be alone, so that I would always have hope and assurance.
I thought about the purpose of the cross — how Jesus’ death and resurrection made it possible for me to approach the throne of God, to know the Most High God.
I closed my eyes and could see His face. He looked at me, pleading with me to embrace His sacrifice and to understand the depth of its meaning.
Lord, show me. Help me understand.
Deep within my spirit, I heard Him whisper:
Nan, I am with you. I am your hiding place. In Me. In My Presence. My dear child, you have been given the redemptive work of the cross. Walk in that work. Live in that grace. My Presence is with you. All that I am is within you. Let My Spirit comfort you, console you, soothe your anxious heart. Let Me give you rest. You’re not alone in your fear, in your pain. No. I am with you now and forever. Child, open your eyes and see Me. Know Me. Love Me. For it is in Me that you live and move and have your being. In Me. I am your hiding place.
My body relaxed. Tension and frustration oozed out of me like infection from a wound. The Presence of God touched me and made me whole again. He opened my eyes to see and know Him on a deeper level. This is another one of the mysteries reserved for the child of God who dares to press in and know Him.
You too have been given the redemptive work of the cross, and His Presence is with you as He is with me. The battle is fierce, but His grace is sufficient. His secret place is stocked with abundant grace. Generous love and comfort are stored there. Safety. Security.
Let the Holy Spirit take you to the secret place of the Most High God. It’s a refuge when life and ministry become overwhelming.
There’s something very comforting about the touch of His wing.
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