I pressed my hand against the cool window pane, rivulets of raindrops coursing down the glass, reflecting the streaming tears coursing down my cheeks.
The week had been difficult, punctuated with many trials. My spirit grew weak by the onslaught of the enemy and despair began to set in. And then what felt to be a fatal blow came against me — a financial one that nearly sent me into a fetal position.
I knew I was at my breaking point.
I also knew in my knower the Lord was with me.
But I was blinded by circumstances and couldn’t see Him in my midst.
The conflict within raged as I tried desperately to lift my feet from the shifting sand and climb up onto the Solid Rock. Courage eluded me. Anxiety tormented me.
Important errands beckoned, requiring the leaving of the refuge of my home. I cried as I drove through the raindrops mocking my tears — so frustrated. So upset. So completely overwhelmed. As I drove I argued with Satan and wrestled with God.
I was a mess.
I live in the rural mountains of western North Carolina where radio stations are scarce. My favorite Christian station is 106.9 The Light out of Black Mountain, NC, but it’s rare to receive good reception. I knew this, but my parched spirit craved the refreshment that only praise can give.
So … I gave it a try.
My index finger pushed in the first button on the radio — 106.9. Static, of course. I was about to change it back to our local station when, out of the static came a clear, strong voice, “You are a child of God. The gates of hell WILL not and CANNOT prevail against you!” Then it faded back to static.
Oh. My. Goodness!
This message came directly to me from God’s highest heaven. He spoke into my fear and gave me courage. He spoke into my despair and gave me peace. I am a child of God and so are you. The gates of hell will not and cannot prevail against us. Amen?
Lord, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, ‘There is no help for him [her] in God.’ Selah.
But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. Selah. ~ Psalm 3:1-4
I pulled over and sat in the quiet for a few moments, basking in the goodness of the Lord. My tears of sorrow turned to tears of thankfulness — thankful for a God who reigns on high, and yet loves us tenderly.