I sat quietly at my desk peering out the window, yet my eyes saw nothing, my mind languished numb against the onslaught of troubling thoughts — those worrisome, nagging doubts and fears. My mind was blank, therefore my eyes were looking, but not seeing.
I had prayed earlier, but even that was not in earnest. I was looking for God, but not seeing Him. Just sitting before Him with a blank stare.
I Was Numb, Looking for God but Not Seeing Him
My empty sight was abruptly shaken by movement on the forest’s edge. As the mental fog cleared I watched, mesmerized as a lovely doe and her newborn fawn entered the brush separating the forest from the road. My weary spirit lit up with life and light and all things wonderful as I watched this tender moment.
The doe led her baby to the roadside — a busy roadside that ribboned its way to the river and its haven for kayakers.
“No!” I pleaded in silence with the mother. “No, don’t take your baby across the road.”
But she was determined. It was an extremely hot and humid day on our mountain and her baby needed water from the creek that flowed through my property.
I knew that, but I didn’t like the difficulties the two had to overcome to get there.
So I prayed for them and watched as the river traffic ceased long enough for the momma and her baby to cross the road to take a long drink.
Thank You, Lord.
Out of nowhere a beloved verse came to mind, “As the deer pants for the water brook, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”*
… so pants my soul for You, O God …
I knew the Lord was speaking to me, even through my numb heart and mind. I could hear His quiet whisper within my heart.
Do you not know that it is I and I alone that will satisfy you? Do you not know that your life sustenance, your peace, your well-being comes from Me? Your anxious thoughts are not from Me, but if you do not approach Me as the All-Sufficient God, El Shaddai, you will not be satisfied and you will not be kept in perfect peace.
I listened intently to the One who loves me. I knew He was calling me — He was waiting for me to come to Him and drink fully of His living water.
The doe and her newborn had set out for refreshment with intention and determination of heart. I too, had to respond to the thirst that screamed within me — the thirst that only the Lord could satisfy. I had to put obstacles and distractions aside and respond to the Voice within bidding me to come.
Are you weary? Do you long for peace, for deep satisfaction within your soul? Do you face each day numb from the persistent onslaught of the enemy?
Feeling Numb at Heart is Real. Jesus is the Answer
Perhaps there is a yearning you can’t describe — an emptiness that calls out to you from day to day.
The emptiness is a God-shaped vessel in your heart prepared perfectly for the Spirit of God who desires to dwell within you. His liquid love flows upon the Living Water seeping into the empty place, carrying nuggets of peace and brimming with grace.
But only if we will be still and drink.
Dear one, drink! Drink freely of His grace. Drink freely of the Living Water that flows from the throne of God.
Only He can satisfy the longing soul. He’s waiting for you to come and sit with Him awhile.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,