There’s a dark cloud on the horizon — the deep charcoal winter-kind-of-dark cloud. A storm is coming with significant snowfall and fierce winds. A gray veil is settling over the mountain as the snow clouds roll in, softening the harsh brown of winter. Do I have enough strength for the day that surely will come in like a lion and wreak havoc across our mountain?
Life has been hard. I’m tired and weary.
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Clearly, I trust You, Lord, to take care of me, so why am I struggling? I hear You whisper, Let not Your heart be troubled. You remind me to be anxious for nothing, but in everything with thanksgiving let my requests be made known to You … and You will take care of the rest.
But like Paul, the things I want to do, I don’t do, and the things I don’t want to do, I do.
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A holy hush settled upon the earth. Remnants of snow lay heavy on the stark branches of winter. A faint glow in the eastern sky spoke of the awakening dawn pushing against the blanket of clouds covering the earth.
Stillness. Quiet.
Just moments earlier, I had asked the Lord to quiet me with His love — to still my restless thoughts where anxiety lay. It was then that I set my gaze toward the winter scene outside my window.
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Lord, the valley is deep. I’m stumbling over giant stones of overwhelm. I find myself tripping over the lies of the enemy — the very lies I recognize as such and yet yield to their evil intent to take my eyes off You.
Forgive me, Lord.
I know You to be faithful, full of love and mercy. I know You as El Roi, my God who sees me and knows all about it.
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The deep blue sky of the chilly winter day was a balm to my weary soul, for God’s creation calls to me as deep calls to deep. While I walked, I thought of the beauty around me; creatures as small as a field mouse and as large as an eight-point buck were all in sight against the forest’s edge.
I watched a hawk lift from its perch at the top of the tall pine. His wings spread wide as he swooped toward the meadow, the sun burnishing his rusty feathers with glints of red and gold.
He was beautiful against the winter sky.
His beauty deceptive to the reality of his intent.
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Lord, the Christmas bells are still ringing, and twinkling lights still dot the landscape. Sanctuaries still announce Your birth with red, gold, and silver raiment laced through the evergreens, and yet a spirit of heaviness weighs me and many others down. I need a breakthrough of joy, Lord. Rescue me from this sadness.
It has no rhyme or reason — this sadness. It just is. Perhaps it’s an accumulation of sadness — sorrow upon sorrow, until now it is beginning to consume me. Now I can distinguish it as a spirit of heaviness.
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The earth lay in a silky blanket of night. A quiet breeze drifted across the field, carrying the bleating of the sheep near and far. The gentle whisper of God also floated on the breeze, but no one was listening. Heaven had come to earth, but the people did not discern it.
Stars like diamonds glimmered — too numerous to count, too beautiful to fathom. In the eastern sky, a star shone high above the others, its beams of light touching the earth.
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Lord, You are the God of all comfort, my refuge in the difficult place. You are Wonderful, Counselor … the Prince of Peace. Oh, how I need Your peace. Will You quiet me with Your love?
Your love is so much stronger than whatever troubles me. I need You like I never have before, yet … I’m thankful because I know You like never before. This difficult place is teaching me who You are — the Keeper of my soul, the One who steadies my heart, the One who quiets me with His love.
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The aged apple tree stretched toward the heavens with its thin, finger-like branches. It grew on the forest’s edge, surrounded by pine, oak, and hemlocks. It grew despite the season, quite obviously a happenstance, a surprise to its forest shadows.
The aged apple tree stretched toward the heavens with its thin, finger-like branches. It grew on the forest’s edge, surrounded by pine, oak, and hemlocks. It grew despite the season, quite obviously a happenstance, a surprise to its forest shadows …
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Lord, You alone deserve all glory, honor, and praise, for there is no one else like You. You are the Living God, Maker of heaven and earth, and yet You know my name. You know my anxious thoughts, and You know when I grow weary from the challenges of life. I come to You with a thankful heart, even though life is so very hard right now.
You have taught me that living with a thankful heart allows me to abide with You.
My gaze landed on the mountaintop in the distance. Blue-purple ribbons of rolling hills surrounded the giant dome. I was in the battle of faith and despair, trying to let faith win out. Why are you troubled and weary, Nan? I asked myself. Why so downcast? Put your hope in God, Maker of heaven and earth.
I often lecture myself. I suppose King David did the same. Throughout the psalms, his dialogue addresses the battle of faith and despair, spirit and flesh. Mountaintops reminded David of God, just like they do for me.
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Lord, I need You. You are a very present help in times of trouble. You are my peace when I am overwhelmed. Your grace is enough because You are enough. Your love cannot be exhausted, for it is from everlasting to everlasting … You will love me forever.
Tears flow as I speak these words because I sense Your presence drawing near to strengthen me. Life in this fallen world is hard and growing harder by the day.
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