Does loving God well require perfection?
I dug deep beneath the rich soil, stirring the dirt, breaking up the hard ground parched by summer’s heat. Chrysanthemums called to me from their cramped containers, promising me to flourish with a new life of perfection and blooms if I would but set them free.
Several inches beneath layers of dark chocolate earth, a glint of light caught my attention. Using my fingers, I brushed away the dirt and discovered a small brass button. A floral engraving indicated its owner was a lady, perhaps from generations ago (my home is an old farmhouse built in 1887). I tried to picture her in my mind. Was she petite? Frail? Or was she strong and powerful? Had she struggled through life, battling hurts and heartache or had she lived the life of luxury where everything on the surface appeared perfect?
That’s the paradox, isn’t it?
Even a perfect life of luxury has hurts and betrayals beneath its golden exterior, hidden from the world’s view so the image of perfection won’t be interrupted.
I certainly don’t live a life of luxury, but I am guilty of trying to portray perfection.
I’m guilty of not wanting others to see my vulnerabilities, the ugly places in my heart, the hurts and betrayals that wrenched my heart in two. Do you suppose we think if others can’t see our imperfections then neither can God? Or perhaps, and more importantly, do we convince ourselves that if others can’t see our imperfections, our hurts, and betrayals, then maybe they don’t exist. Maybe they have no power over us. Maybe we’ve buried them deep enough to never be found.
Truth is, like the vintage brass button, imperfections will be found. Especially when we align ourselves with the Most High God, the Creator of heaven and earth, the One who loves us with an everlasting love.
Especially then.
Job 12:22 reads, “He [the Lord] uncovers deep things out of darkness, and brings the shadow of death to light.”
Layer by layer, as we yield to Him, He digs into the soil of our hearts and unearths hidden wounds, sins, betrayals — those things that would keep us from loving Him well. With a gentle touch the Lord brushes the dirt away, rubs the imperfection with His thumb, and blows His breath on it to scatter any remaining dirt that would keep it from reflecting His light.
That is the way of holiness. Sanctification. Being set apart for and placed within the heart of God.
Like the chrysanthemums calling to me to free them from their cramped containers so their roots can grow deep and strong and the beauty of their blossoms can flourish, so the Lord sets us free from those things that keep us bound. He digs deep through the layers that guard our hearts, searching for any hidden imperfections or those things that lie in decay.
I believe God removes them and keeps them under His watchful care knowing that regardless of how ugly the wound or imperfection, it is part of who we are.
And who we are is precious to Him. Flaws and all.
Yes, our God is a good and faithful Father.
Nan, thank you. Like you, I try to hide my imperfections so many times. I try to hide them not only from God (like He doesn’t know them anyway) but also from my closest friends. Thank you for sheding the light on although some may live a luxious life, their exterior isn’t perfect and also the fact that we don’t have to hide. May we all have the courage to bring our imperfect lives into the light so other can see and be encouraged. Love you, sweet friend.
Jamie girl!! I’m so happy to hear from you. I’ve been praying for you and your Grandpa. I honestly believe everyone struggles with this, especially women. But you are right, others can be encouraged in their faith walk when we allow the Lord to expose our imperfections to His glorious Light.
I love this Nan. I’m not sure I suffer as much from trying to keep others from seeing my flaws as much as I try to keep God from seeing them. Silly, I know. I think you hit upon an important truth here for me, “Do you suppose we think if others can’t see our imperfections then neither can God? Or perhaps, and more importantly, do we convince ourselves that if others can’t see our imperfections, our hurts, and betrayals, then maybe they don’t exist. Maybe they have no power over us. Maybe we’ve buried them deep enough to never be found.” Guilty as charged. Thank you for shedding light on this in my life and for pointing me towards His grace and healing. Love you dear lady.
I hear you! 🙂 I’m guilty as charged too. Maybe part of us feels like if we don’t acknowledge something ugly in our hearts, it will magically disappear. But, that’s not how the Lord works. He takes those wounds and ugly places, those fragments of life, and places them in His Refiner’s Fire to create a beautiful vessel for His glory! Mercy! That will preach 😉
Thank you, Nan! I am so guilty of trying to hide my imperfections and be the perfect person I think God would want me to be. I am learning to find freedom in not being perfect, but sometimes the judgment of others who expect perfection is harsh!
Norma, that is so true. And the funny thing is, those people who are demanding perfection are obviously not perfect themselves, or they would not require something so absurd from others. That in itself reveals a character flaw – an imperfection. And yes, there really is a freedom that comes when we walk away from the deception that we must be perfect. Amen 🙂
Oh Nan, how we could linger over endless coffee at the Clouds coffee shop on this very topic! God is restoring my physical body, but also restoring my identity, security, and my need to break up with the notion of perfection.
I would LOVE a coffee date next year at Blue Ridge. You are such an inspiration to me. The Lord digs deep, doesn’t He? He is so good to us.
Thank you, Nan, for the reminder that we needn’t expect perfection from ourselves or anyone else. I’m so grateful for God’s amazing grace! I enjoyed reading your post. Hey, I wanted to see a picture of the button.
I know! I would have loved a picture too. All of my treasures are in heaven right now with very few material goods here. I don’t have a smart phone or camera to take pictures with – I depend on my kids for that, but none of them were around when I wrote the post 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks.
That’s okay. I have a pretty good imagination.
I believe you’re a very wealthy person.
Oh yes! I have lost everything to gain Christ … very hard lessons, but amazing reward 🙂
It’s funny. I’m fine revealing my imperfections on a public blog, but when it comes to people seeing them in person, that’s another story! Letting go of the image of perfection is so hard for me. I’ve been writing on this topic lately, too. Thank you for this!
Heather Bock
http://www.glimpsesofjesus.com
Me too!!! I can be very transparent in my writings, and I do that to help others, but face to face is DEFINITELY another story. We must be sister-friends 😉
Like Heather, I have no problem being transparent and sharing my flaws on my blog. In person? That’s another matter. For me, I think it’s because I’ve always been a writer-person; laying it all out there from behind the computer is easy. Facing someone while imperfections are laid bare is so personal. So much in this post to contemplate — thank you for sharing through your blog.
Patti, I feel your pain 😉 This must be a common thread among writers. Maybe it’s that we find courage in bringing dark places to the Light because God has asked that of us when He called us to write for His glory. Maybe we sense a protection – a shield – in that setting because we are walking in obedience to Him. Maybe. That’s something to think about. Thank you for stopping by.
Nan, I believe you’ve really hit the nail on the head on this one… and I’m getting enlightened about the deepest reason for my writing block and my current woes as regards fellowship with God. I have been running away from writing, Jonah-style, for the same reason I’ve been avoiding prayer, why I’ve been avoiding God, actually, and on previous attempts of bringing them to the light, it was so painful that I aborted the process. I hate being vulnerable. I really do. I have so many dark places, ugly places. So many wounds I believed were healed but were only buried deeper. I’ve been growing more and more isolated, avoiding any deep contact with people, even my closest friends and my husband, even my son.
Yes, I believe I cannot write (though my desire is as strong as ever) because I feel very vulnerable when I do. And the fear of my story and my characters being considered boring is a fear of ME getting rejected and discarded as one who has nothing interesting to say.
I really need a Christ-esteem boost these days.
Bless your sweet heart, Carina. One of the first steps in overcoming is to recognize and then acknowledge what the Lord is showing you. Then try to put on your spiritual eyes to see the hand of the enemy preventing you from telling your difficult story. The last thing he wants is for you to help someone else come to the Lord because of your own redemption story. When I can keep this perspective, it helps me push through because I detest that slimy scoundrel. The Lord pursues us with His love. He has not turned His back on you sweet sister – He is calling to you to come home.
I love that thought that sanctification not only sets us apart for God but places us within his heart. I struggle with that perfectionism trap too, but knowing God’s father heart for me helps me come into the light–imperfections and all.
I know what you mean Leigh. His love astounds me – it is truly beyond comprehension.