Kneeling by my bed, I poured out the pain of my heart to the Lord. Tears streamed as anguish gripped me — pain so deep no words could adequately describe it. Surely Job must have felt this way with groanings too deep for words.
Pure exhaustion washed over me. Then stillness as I knelt in His Presence and peace enveloped me once again.
I Remember the Feelings of Abandonment
Funny how memories pop up out of nowhere and bring the reflection of lessons learned. As I quieted myself before the Lord this morning, the above thoughts meandered through my mind. Oh, how I remember the desperation of those moments when my heart was wrenched in two and the personal loss was too hard to fully imagine.
I remember the feelings of abandonment by the One whom I had trusted, the sheer devastation as anguish gripped my heart and left me floundering on the floor with groanings too deep for words.
Yes, I remembered the agony of my soul.
And then I realized something …
Towards the end of Job’s sifting by Satan when the magnitude of his personal loss was fully realized, Job said these words,
“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You (Job 42:5).
Now my eye sees You …
Now because in the loss of everything Job held dear, God remained. Steadfast. Sure. In the drawing near during his darkest moments, Job’s faith found the Rock on which to stand, and in his unequivocal loss, he found that God was enough.
No one could take that away from him.
The Lord Understands our Groanings Too Deep for Words
Through my own personal pain and loss — my own anguish of heart — I am beginning to realize the same.
My faith has deepened as I have learned the very essence of who God is — my comforter, my peace, my refuge, my sanity. He has opened my eyes to behold His glory, to see and find Him in my darkest moments.
His Word, with its intricate detail, now leaps from the page with life-giving nourishment that I may have taken for granted before, securing me tightly to the grip and strength of His hand.
I am no longer the same.
And it’s because of complete brokenness at the foot of the cross.
Are you, too, in a place of anguish with groanings too deep for words? Is your spirit longing for peace, your faith being shaken to its core? I encourage you to hold on.
Hold fast to what you know to be true: You are a child of God; His love knows no end. God is for you and not against you. He will work everything together for your good as you trust Him — hold fast and you will see this promise manifest.
He Really is Near to the Brokenhearted
Ask the Lord your God to open your eyes so that you might see Him there in your midst, just as He promised. He really is near to the brokenhearted and those crushed in spirit. He is drawn to our pain and the cries of our hearts.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,