Tag: dementia

Groanings Too Deep for Words Opened My Eye to See Him

Kneeling by my bed, I poured out the pain of my heart to the Lord. Tears streamed as anguish gripped me — pain so deep no words could adequately describe it. Surely Job must have felt this way with groanings too deep for words.

Pure exhaustion washed over me. Then stillness as I knelt in His Presence and peace enveloped me once again.

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God Knows My Heart Before I Utter a Word

I held the warmth of my coffee cup to my chin, allowing the steam to rise and help remove the chill of this frosty spring morning. Sitting quietly, gazing out the window at the wonder of God’s creation, I sensed God’s presence drawing near. We didn’t speak. There was no need. God knows my heart before I utter a word.

David’s dementia is increasing, his ability to reason escaping his gentle spirit. It’s been a hard few days … and I needed to be held in my Savior’s love.

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The Grace of God and Threatening-Kind-of-Dark Clouds

I watched a dark cloud on the horizon — the deep charcoal threatening-kind-of-dark cloud. A storm was coming with significant rain and fierce winds. My life was facing a fierce storm, too. As I searched the sky, my heart searched for the grace of God.

A gray veil settled over our mountain hollar as the clouds rolled in, dimming the fresh greens of early summer. I sipped my coffee as I watched the sultry clouds deepen over the ridge.

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Overcoming the Fear that Stirred Within Me

It was a brisk morning. The fire crackled beside me overcoming the chill in our home. The Word of God lay open on my lap overcoming the fear that stirred within me.

In our living room my husband blared the television with its insistent updates on the coronavirus pandemic — a necessary part of our lives these days, but a fear producer as well. With David’s dementia, the pandemic has created enormous amounts of paranoia in his mind which has caused a very decipherable decline in his mental condition over the past few weeks.

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When Clouds Remind Me of God’s Presence

I rounded the curve at the top of the hill — the curve that runs alongside a glorious pasture lush from recent rains. Clouds bubbled, some ashen in color. In the distance the mountain range rippled in shades of navy and slate blue. A cooling breeze wiped the sweat from my brow.

The moment was so peaceful. The morning had been difficult as David’s dementia marches on in its devastation. These few minutes of respite along our country road were like giant gulps from the well of Living Water.

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God is My Fortress — a Fortress of Care

David shuffled along while we walked Blue this afternoon, arm locked in mine to offer him balance. His countenance was dim today. His shoulders stooped, brows furrowed.

Dementia is taking its toll and slowly taking my soulmate.

But a beautiful thing happened while we walked — a shining example of God’s tender watchcare during this extremely difficult season …

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Longing For Zion in a Foreign Land

The morning light felt gentle and warm against my troubled spirit. I sat on the porch sipping my coffee, Bible in lap, Blue by my side. Peace settled over me — contentment that had been missing for quite some time.

“Speak to me through Your Word, Lord. I’m listening,” I prayed.

Opening my Bible, my eyes fell on the subtitle of Psalm 137: Longing for Zion in a Foreign Land. I paused and considered the season of life I’m experiencing.

It feels foreign to me.

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I Heard Her Song Through the Impending Darkness

There’s a dark cloud on the horizon — the deep charcoal winter-kind-of-dark cloud. A storm is coming with significant snowfall and fierce winds. A gray veil is settling over the mountain valley as the snow clouds roll in, softening the harsh brown of winter.

I sipped my coffee as I watched the sultry winter clouds deepen over the ridge.

To my right, down towards the old apple tree, a burst of sunlight made its way through the clouds and I could hear her song — a meadowlark rejoicing in the warmth of the unexpected light. Her song trilled across the impending darkness — perhaps in spite of the darkness and comforted my restless spirit.

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A Prayer When You’re Facing Giants in Your Land

Lord, You are the God who lifts my head when I am down, who strengthens me when I am weak. You are the Keeper of my soul. I am so grateful.

There are giants in my land that threaten to consume me — to distract me from the work You have given me to do. But I know that You are greater than he that is in the world and nothing You have spoken over me will return to You void. You will complete those things You have begun in me — giants, or no giants.

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