I watched the hawk lift from its perch in the top of the tall pine. His wings spread wide as he swooped toward the meadow, the sun burnishing his rusty feathers with glints of red and gold.
He was beautiful against the winter sky.
His beauty deceptive to the reality of his intent.
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Do you ever think of the longsuffering of God — of His patience with His sons and daughters as we journey with Him on this walk of faith?
I came face-to-face with longsuffering a few years ago.
Or the lack thereof.
My lack.
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Lord, You are my God — my Father. I am Your child who adores You. I long to know You more. I yearn to understand the depth of Your love. I want to hear You, God, but there is so much noise, so many distractions, a mountain of responsibilities.
Help me, Lord. Help me shut out the noise and seek You first above all things.
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Lord, I’m crying out to You for You are my strong tower, my sure place, my shelter in the storm. Call me from the deep and I will come. Let me hear Your voice, Lord.
As deep calls to deep, I know You are near.
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Huddled beneath the covers wishing the morning away, I recognized His sweet whisper, “I am for you, not against you. You are my child. You have not been forsaken.” I squeezed my eyes and scrunched up my face because, although I believed what the Lord was speaking to me, my reality felt very different. I wondered, Where is God when it hurts?
I felt alone in many ways.
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Lord, I feel safe with You. When the world is spinning out of control, when flames of trial are lapping at my legs, I know I can run to You. You are my hiding place — this I know very well.
But I keep peeking out at the Enemy’s ambush.
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The morning light felt gentle and warm against my troubled spirit. I sat on the porch sipping my coffee, Bible in lap, birds offering praise from the old Juniper tree. Peace settled over me — contentment that had been missing for quite some time as I had prayed, “Where are You, Lord in my difficult season?”
“Speak to me through Your Word, Lord. I’m listening.”
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I walked along our mountain road, heavy thoughts filling my mind. Future days are filled with the unknown as my husband and I travel a path marred by his dementia. How do I trust God with my heart when it is breaking and everything seems so uncertain?
I found myself lost in memories.
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Lord, I love You so much and my greatest desire is to honor You — to glorify You in my life. I want to overflow with kindness, to take Your love into a hurting world, but Lord … some days my flesh is just plain rotten!
I know it. I recognize the attitude simmering just below the surface …
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Lord, I know that I know You are my source of joy. There is absolutely nothing better than being in Your Presence where joy is unspeakable and cherished. Your joy makes me want to dance in the rain as I rejoice in Your love, but … there’s always a but, isn’t there, Lord?
But life is muddy sometimes and my happy feet slip in the mud and down I go — back into the pit, stuck in the miry clay.
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I watched a dark cloud on the horizon — the deep charcoal threatening-kind-of-dark cloud. A storm was coming with significant rain and fierce winds. My life was facing a fierce storm, too. As I searched the sky, my heart searched for the grace of God.
A gray veil settled over our mountain hollar as the clouds rolled in, dimming the fresh greens of early summer. I sipped my coffee as I watched the sultry clouds deepen over the ridge.
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Lord, I hear You calling me. I know Your voice, I recognize Your presence, and I am confident of Your assignment before me. I want to obey — I want to mount up with wings of eagles and soar for Your glory … but my wings won’t flap.
It’s like they are paralyzed. Stuck in time. Why Lord? Why am I afraid to totally trust You? Actually, I think I do trust You, but I don’t trust ME.
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Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference
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