The air became still all around me; the silence deafening. A solitary cloud drifted along on a periwinkle sky while a stray sunbeam lit up a golden maple leaf with tinges of red on its edges. It glowed with radiant light, especially in the soft shadows of early evening.
Where are You, God?
Where are You, God? The thought snuck into the quiet, serene moment, taking me by surprise. I know God is with me. I have lived within His love for fifty-four years … I know. And yet, this honest thought came to the surface: Where are You, God?
The season I am in is difficult. Some days I feel lost or overwhelmed. Some days I am simply exhausted as I consider what my senior years with my husband of forty-three years have become. Neither of us saw this coming, this beast called frontotemporal dementia.
But does the difficulty change who God is? Absolutely not! If anything, like the ray of sunlight hitting the maple leaf, causing it to declare His glory as it prepares to let go, hard days make God’s love more apparent.
And holy.
You know, God is holy. He is my Abba Father and Friend, but He is also Almighty God who is well aware of the anxieties in my heart. He does not turn from me when my heart aches with thoughts of losing my husband. No! He bends low to hear my cry, and then He draws near to hold and comfort me.
As He does for you in your difficult place.
Where is God? He is in the wilderness with us
A gentle breeze began to rustle through the old juniper. The wind chimes responded with a soothing melody, and I wiped the tender tears from my face. Ruach Elohim, the breath of God. His Spirit drew near in those moments of deep thought.
I lifted the bible resting in my lap. Opening it, my eyes fell on Isaiah 43:15, “I am the Lord, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King.”
I’m listening, Lord. Strengthen me with Your Word.
“16 Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea
And a path through the mighty waters,
17 Who brings forth the chariot and horse,
The army and the power
(They shall lie down together, they shall not rise;
They are extinguished, they are quenched like a wick):
18 “Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.
20 The beast of the field will honor Me,
The jackals and the ostriches,
Because I give waters in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert,
To give drink to My people, My chosen.
21 This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.“
I sat still and pondered what the Lord was speaking to my weary soul. I thought of waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. I thought about Him quenching my thirst with His living water, and holding me by His righteous right hand as I walk this long, hard journey of love.
Love. I love David with all of my heart. How much more does the Lord, my God, love me?
Are you in the wilderness, too?
I desperately want you to know this love. Our wildernesses are sacred. It is there that the Lord speaks to us and cares for us with a Father’s love. In the wilderness, we learn who He is, and we find out that hope is tangible, and faith is beautiful and sure. Will you call out to Him?
I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. Perfect peace swept over me as He quieted me with His love. Where is my God? He is right here, keeping me close to His heart, just as He promised.
Selah
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Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down, and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,
