Lessons from the past…
I had nowhere to turn. Depression held me in its firm grip. From every corner of my windswept mind, torments from the enemy of my soul assailed me, “You are such a failure. You will never amount to anything. Hey! Where is this God you talk about? I thought He would never leave you.” On and on the tirades continued. On and on my spirit descended into the miry clay of despair.
And then my Jesus called my name, Nan. Nan, I am here. You are not alone.
My spirit stirred from the depths. “But, Lord, where are You? Where have you been in my pain? In my confusion?”
I love you, child. You are mine. This darkness you feel is the shadow of my wing. I have been with you all along, preserving you, shielding you, and desperately wanting you to reach out your hand to Me. Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.
This exchange began a lesson in understanding the essence of my Heavenly Father. Can I trust Him? Do I have to feel His Presence to know that He is with me? When bad things happen, should I assume that He has left me to my own devices? In my recovery, God led me to Isaiah 40:31 from the Amplified Bible.
“But those who wait for the Lord (who expect, look for, and hope in Him) shall change and renew their strength and power; They shall lift their wings and mount up close to God as eagles mount up to the sun; They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.”
Those who wait for the Lord – who expect, look for and hope in Him – those who come to God expectantly, change and renew their strength. Their expectancy lifts them close to God – to their source of strength.
I let these thoughts sink in. No longer were my burdens my own. As I waited on God, His Presence replaced my spirit of heaviness with praise. He cupped my heart in His hand and gave me rest.
Windswept corners. I turned a corner that day. I pray that you’ll find the strength to do the same.
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If you received Morning Glory via email, please visit the Morning Glory page to be encouraged by Meredith Andrews singing “You’re Not Alone”. I pray that the words of my heart will give you strength for the journey.
Wow! I needed this today! I needed to be reminded, "you aren't alone!" Thank you so much Nan for your transparency. Love you so much, my precious friend!
I'm glad it ministered to you, Jamie. That's a lesson we all need to walk in. Love you!
Nan,
I love it when God lets us turn a "windswept corner". This morning was one of those times…as I met Him just to worship. One of the things He shared with me kinda fits in with your thoughts and the scripture from Isaiah…"Those who wait on me will not be disappointed". Praise God He never changes and never disappoints us and is always on time with His precious promises.
Before I go, I wanted to say thank you for allowing Jamie to send your manuscript for the book you're writing. I was so blown away by it…so was my husband. Dave has never been a pastor, though we've been involved for years in ministry and have experienced many ups and downs in different churches. We also had dear friends…A pastor and his wife who we were very close to during some of their stormy times. Thanks for being transparent. May God bring real revival to our churches so that the world will see the Love Jesus meant for us to have for each other. May God bless the publishing of your book and touch many lives.
"Those who wait on me will not be disappointed". Amen! I love that Glenda. Thank you for your kind words about my manuscript. You blessed me beyond measure. Love you!
What a sweet song you chose to accompany this treat.
I felt better today but very tired (I'm eating little because of my stress and anguish for my situation, so that makes me want to sleep). I feel I need a couple of days to grieve a bit, but I won't let it sink into depression. There's so much the Lord has told me… That I am not alone. That He's with me every day. Today I've been receiving the same Word (different pairs) twice. Happened with two passages. And out of a long reading list of blogs I'm subscribed to or friends' pages I visit, I'm always led to those that have a SPECIAL Word for me which seems tailor-made.
So that tells me He's right here, receiving my mummy tears and loving my desire to nurture another human being… Can't be a baby it seems… But I know I'll have a lot of nurturing, mothering opportunities in the future, with spiritual children He'll give me.
I was reminded of Psalm 139. Before a thought is formed in my mind, He knows it. Even before a question is fully formed in my mind, I get God's answer.
His dealings with us may seem tough sometimes, even cruel (today all I saw were baby-related things and I wanted to cry out, my little Rocío!) but He is true and faithful and His plans are always better. He knows the future plans He has in store, and they're good.
I wish I could say I'm excited about the wonderful promises I've received. I am, in a sense. But it's bittersweet.
Carina, you are picking up your cross and following Him. And so, guess what will be following you? Goodness and mercy, all the days of your life. God will fill the void to overflowing with Himself and you will find your completeness in Him. Bless you my sweet sister.
Beautiful words my friend. I do believe you knew exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your relationship with God with us. I have been in this place this week and fully depended on my friends to bring me back to Jesus's light. It shines brightly in my spirit once again. Thanks to you <3
We all need to lean on friends at times. I'm thankful you're my friend. I love you 🙂
Another beautiful post that brought me closer to the truth of His word. Thank you, Nan. I love your transparency and insight. 🙂
Thank you Vonda. You are a gift from heaven for me. Love you!