“What?? What was that?” I said.
Something hit the top of my head as I sat totally alone on the loveseat in my writing office. There were no cats in the room. There was no one jumping up and down – not even walking. There was only me and Jesus.
But something hit my head.
I began to search for the culprit. There, lying on the floor next to me, was the enormous pheasant feather I keep on the top shelf of my bookcase. It’s been there for two years. This feather tumbled from the shelf and hit me in the head. The timing was perfect. (I know. You’re dying for the backstory, right? Right?? Get ready, you’re not going to believe it.)
My morning had been wrought with anxiety, accentuated with gut-wrenching sobs. Seriously. We were overdrawn at the bank. Our pantry was almost bare and don’t even think there was food in the freezer. Nope. That was long gone. Two years of unemployment is definitely a challenge in the food department. The overdrawn notice in our bank account broke me. Totally.
I knelt in my office and wept. I poured my heart and frustration and fear and despair out before the Lord, asking Him to refill me with His perfect peace. My body shook with emotion. My spirit clung desperately to the One I trust.
And then He whispered to my broken spirit:
Nan, do you not know that I hold you in the palm of My hand? Have you not heard? I love you with an everlasting love. I have never failed you and I will not fail you now. I will make a way in the desert places. Even now I am making the crooked places straight. Even now. Do not fear my little one. I AM sovereign. I AM merciful. Do not fear. Take each moment with Me. Walk with Me. Talk with Me in the cool of the evening. Do not let the cold of the midnight scare you, for after the midnight comes the dawn. I AM the God of the dawning. You are blessed, child. Do not fear. I will make a way.
“Do not let the cold of the midnight scare you, for after the midnight comes the dawn. I AM the God of the dawning.”
Wow! I began to rest in His secret place.
I curled up on the loveseat with my bible. I read from the psalms and then a cross-reference took me to Job 8:21, “He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, and your lips with rejoicing.”
I sat for a moment pondering these words, and then it happened.
Out of nowhere the feather hit me on the head! At first I giggled, but that quickly morphed into hysterical laughter. I laughed healing, belly aching laughs. Cleansing tears flowed freely down my cheeks. Those of you who know me personally know that I encourage folks all the time to hide beneath the shadow of God’s wing. Psalm 57:1 reads, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge until these calamities have passed me by.”
Beneath the shadow of His wing…
I’m listening, Lord.
Father, Yes, your love is extravagant! I believe I will always stand amazed at how the Creator of the Universe – the One True God – knows me personally. Thank You for that knowledge. And you know what else? I love that You have a sense of humor. Thank You for helping me laugh last week when I surrendered to the fiery darts of the enemy and melted in despair. You could have told me You were disappointed in my lack of faith, but instead, You made me laugh. Wow! I love You, Lord. And, although I don’t know how you’re going to sustain us, I know You will because that’s the kind of God You are. I love You, Lord. With all my heart, I love you.
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I’m getting my speaking engagements on the calendar for spring. I would absolutely love to spend time with your ladies, sharing laughter and tears as we seek the Lord together. My website, Nan Jones, has all the info or you may contact me directly at nan@jubilantlight.com.
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If you received Morning Glory via email, please visit the Morning Glory page to sing about God’s extravagant love with Casting Crowns.
Oh Nan, I needed this today! To think, that feather hit you in the head, no better laugh therapy! It sounds like you had a sweet time with Jesus that day! I need to just take a deep breath . . . and breathe in His peace today. Love you, my precious friend!
Jamie, breathe in His peace and rest in His secret place beneath the shadow of His wing. I love you 🙂
I've experienced these laugh-like-crazy-in-the-midst-of-a-storm-moments. Moments when you can look at your pain from an eternal perspective and just KNOW in your heart of hearts that all things work together for good to us who love Jesus. It's beautiful to experience that joy. Always sad, and yet always rejoicing! That's our life on earth. There's always something to cry about (or someone to cry with) and yet there are so many reasons to laugh and praise the Lord. And His providence is so amazing. He always gives us more than we can pray for.
Exactly one year ago, my dream home seemed an impossible ideal. When we saw it and fell in love with it, we had to surrender it to the Lord and say "Do your will", because there was no human way we could get it except through a hand that adamantly refused to give. Six months later, that same hand that said "NO WAY EVER" and "NOT A SINGLE CENT" gave us around 40,000 dollars to pay for the difference we needed and every expense originating from the purchase. Another hand provided the money for the moving vans. What we paid in all for our dream home? 500 dollars which we later recovered.
And by the way, the process of moving, which took around the 9 months it takes to conceive, grow and give birth to a baby, was as painful and uncomfortable as what you mention here. There were a lot of moments of despair and crying out for mercy. A lot of dead end roads and stumbling and confusion. But we knew in spite of it all, God had spoken to us about this move we had to make and in the end, He confirmed it by giving us the desire of our hearts.
This house, God willing, will become a house of prayer and it might be possible for us to build a big room for a church on the second floor. God gives us MORE than we can possibly conceive.
Carina, what a beautiful testimony. WOW! Thank you for sharing. Bless you!
That was a great lesson. Thanks so much for sharing.
….and by the way Nan, I have been where you are and God was faithful to me so I know He will be faithful to you. We are all His favorites.
I love this, Nan! A feather? I mean, how more specific could He get? Ah, the beauty of resting in the shadow of His feathered wing…