Your Grace is Sufficient, Lord, So Why Do I Struggle?

Father, You are wonderful beyond comprehension. Your goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. I know that I know Your grace is sufficient, it is more than enough for anything I may face. So, why do I struggle? Why do I insist on fighting my own battles when You clearly are my Defender? You have never failed me … and I know You never will.

The things I don’t want to do, I do. The things I do want to do, I don’t. Oy! This battle of flesh and spirit is strong. Purify my heart and renew a right spirit within me.

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Life Punctuated With Many Trials … God Heard My Cry

I pressed my hand against the cool windowpane, rivulets of raindrops coursing down the glass. I saw the image of my own tears reflected in the raindrops. The week had been difficult, punctuated with many trials. My spirit grew weak by the onslaught of the enemy and despair began to set in.

Even though I know better.

Even though I know the Lord is faithful to deliver His children from the flames of adverstity.

Despair was seeping in.

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Deep in Thought, Led by a Searching Heart … God?

I ambled along our country road. Slow. Sluggish. Deep in thought, led by a searching heart. My gaze landed on the mountaintop in the distance. Blue-purple ribbons of rolling hills surrounded the giant dome. Why are you troubled and weary, Nan? I asked myself. Why so downcast? Put your hope in God, Maker of heaven and earth.

I often lecture myself. I suppose King David did the same. Throughout the Psalms, his dialogue addresses the battle of spirit and flesh, faith and despair.

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I’ve Got a Grip on Hope, Lord. Help Me Hang On

Father, You are the Holy One, the One True God. You are my Beloved and I am Yours — You call me daughter. I’m so thankful I have a grip on hope, knowing that You have a sovereign plan for all things. And yet, some days it’s just plain hard to hang on. Help me keep my eyes on You. When my eyes are on You, the things of earth grow smaller and no longer threaten me. When I consider You and all Your ways, I find peace and I’m able to keep a grip on hope.

What reassurance this gives me!

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The Sun Pushed Against the Foggy Veil Obscuring Him

Fog lay thick as a shroud this morning. A cool mist blanketed the earth as early fall temperatures butted up against the dog days of summer. I couldn’t see the old apple tree, but I could hear the morning choir perched on its branches. The sky held a warm glow as the sun pushed against the foggy veil.

My heart carried heavy burdens as I sat in the stillness of the morning. I prayed and watched, and watched and prayed as the fog began to lift. Prayer escaped my lips and drifted heavenward.

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Be Found in Me, Lord. Transform Me Into Your Likeness

Father, I often feel so much like Paul: the things I don’t want to do, I do! And the things I do want to do, I don’t. Oh, wretched one that I am. Please forgive me. My flesh is a real mess sometimes. But, thank God … I walk close enough to You to realize it. And to desire even more for You to transform me into Your likeness so I might glorify You.

The battle between flesh and blood is real, hard, and sometimes painful as I confront those things in my heart that are not of You … there is a cost to discipleship. Sanctification truly resembles a fire some days — a Refiner’s fire making all things beautiful, a Refiner’s fire that burns away the dross and works on making me holy as You are holy. For this I’m thankful.

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