I stopped at the rustic fencepost where pavement meets gravel, and meadow yields to pasture. Wind blew against my face as I tilted my gaze upward, heavenward … searching, longing for a touch from the Lord.
Billowing clouds bumped into one another as they moved across the mountain ridge. Some shone brightly, illuminated by the sun. Others had a dark cast to them. Heavy. Daunting. Resisting the light.
Gravel pushed into the fencepost. Did it want to resist, too?
I don’t want to resist the light — the presence — of Jesus. I want to walk in His goodness and yield to His healing touch. My heart is weary and heavy-laden, yet He bids me come.
Why do I resist?
As I walked along our country road now laden with gravel, Lauren Daigle sang through my earbuds. Her song, “A Love Like This,” gave me pause, especially this verse: “When I am a long night, You are the sunrise. When I am a desert, You are the river that turns to find me.”
… the river that turns to find me …
Tears escaped my downcast eyes as the love of Jesus held me in that moment, in this season, in my heartache as I watch my husband slowly slip away, taken by a beast called dementia. My spirit quickened within me as I imagined the Lord turning in response to my cry. I imagined Him rushing across the heavens to come to me and quiet me with His love …
I imagined Him holding my face as He poured His living water into my parched heart that was becoming fallow like the baked earth in need of rain.
I drank deeply.
Nan, you are the apple of My eye, My treasure. I will never leave you, nor forsake you. Not a tear drop falls on your pillow without My knowledge. Awaken your heart to remember that I am with you, I am for you, and I will never leave you alone in the difficult places. Look to Me always. Drink deeply from My well of salvation, and I will sustain you, for you are My daughter. I know your name.
God’s love washed over me and quenched my thirst
In that moment beside the rustic fencepost where paved road meets gravel and meadow meets pasture, my Shepherd restored my soul. He was like the river Lauren sang about, turning to find me and quenching my thirst. The tension in my shoulders released as I relaxed in His arms. Peace settled upon me like the softness of a lavender sunrise after a stormy night.
I continued down the road a piece, but this time, there was a spring in my step as I joined Lauren in song, “What have I done to deserve love like this?” Hallelujah!
Selah
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Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down, and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,
