I pressed my hand against the cool windowpane, rivulets of raindrops coursing down the glass. I saw the image of my own tears reflected in the raindrops. The week had been difficult, punctuated with many trials. My spirit grew weak by the onslaught of the enemy and despair began to set in.
Even though I know better.
Even though I know the Lord is faithful to deliver His children from the flames of adverstity.
Despair was seeping in.
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Who is mighty like You, O Lord? Your faithfulness also surrounds You. You rule the raging sea, You speak and the storm ceases to torment. Even so, You teach us that through much tribulation we enter the Kingdom of God.
Really? Why is that necessary, Lord? Why must we be crushed?
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I ambled along our country road. Slow. Sluggish. Deep in thought, led by a searching heart. My gaze landed on the mountaintop in the distance. Blue-purple ribbons of rolling hills surrounded the giant dome. Why are you troubled and weary, Nan? I asked myself. Why so downcast? Put your hope in God, Maker of heaven and earth.
I often lecture myself. I suppose King David did the same. Throughout the Psalms, his dialogue addresses the battle of spirit and flesh, faith and despair.
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Father, You are the Holy One, the One True God. You are my Beloved and I am Yours — You call me daughter. I’m so thankful I have a grip on hope, knowing that You have a sovereign plan for all things. And yet, some days it’s just plain hard to hang on. Help me keep my eyes on You. When my eyes are on You, the things of earth grow smaller and no longer threaten me. When I consider You and all Your ways, I find peace and I’m able to keep a grip on hope.
What reassurance this gives me!
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Fog lay thick as a shroud this morning. A cool mist blanketed the earth as early fall temperatures butted up against the dog days of summer. I couldn’t see the old apple tree, but I could hear the morning choir perched on its branches. The sky held a warm glow as the sun pushed against the foggy veil.
My heart carried heavy burdens as I sat in the stillness of the morning. I prayed and watched, and watched and prayed as the fog began to lift. Prayer escaped my lips and drifted heavenward.
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