My body felt paralyzed with fatigue as fibromyalgia ran rampart. The clock tick-tocked the time away: 9:30 … 10:00 … 10:30 … and still I sat zoned out on the couch in my pajamas, searching for a brain that was missing.
Where Are You, Lord, When My Fatigue is Paralyzing?
The responsibilities of my day weighed heavy on me, but still the fatigue consuming me won the battle, holding me hostage.
So I remained.
On the couch.
In my pajamas.
I noticed movement outside the window. A young doe had wandered beside the house to graze, looking for the birdseed I provide for my feathered friends. Never had I seen one come that close in the daytime. I stared with child-like wonder as the hungry deer did what she had to do to feed herself — she had come in search of food.
Immediately I thought of Psalm 42, “As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee.”
There it was. My answer.
I wasn’t longing for the Lord.
I was bemoaning the crippling fatigue of fibro.
Right then I fell to my knees. A song dropped into my spirit, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”
I sang out as I looked toward heaven. I pictured the face of Jesus, His all-knowing, compassionate eyes. I considered the Truth of who He is: my Redeemer, my Deliverer, my Healer, and my dear Friend.
And I remembered.
His Presence Helps Me Fight Through the Fatigue
I remembered that He is for me and not against me. I remembered that He searches the earth looking for those who are committed to Him who need to be encouraged.
I remembered that when I’m too weary from the journey, He carries me like a father carries his son through the wilderness.
I remembered. And I began to praise Him.
As the praise rose from my lips and my heart, His presence drew near and He infused me with His strength.
Once again I looked toward heaven and I thanked Him for His grace so freely given.
It really is amazing … His grace, I mean.
Selah
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Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,
Thank you, Nan! This meant so much to me today. Life is paralyzing me right now and that flares the Fibro. You are a blessing, dear friend!