where are You, Lord, in my difficult season?

The morning light felt gentle and warm against my troubled spirit. I sat on the porch sipping my coffee, Bible in lap, birds offering praise from the old Juniper tree. Peace settled over me — contentment that had been missing for quite some time as I had prayed, “Where are You, Lord in my difficult season?”

“Speak to me through Your Word, Lord. I’m listening.”

Longing For Zion in a Foreign Land

Opening my Bible, my eyes fell on the subtitle of Psalm 137: Longing for Zion in a Foreign Land. I paused and considered the season of life I’m experiencing.

It feels foreign to me.

where are You, Lord, in my difficult season?

My husband of thirty-eight years has dementia and his rapid decline is apparent. Our decades of pastoring have ended. I’m a caregiver now trying to navigate through this unfamiliar place.

Awash with tears, I, too, long for Zion — my Jerusalem, a familiar, happier time.

The Israelites said, “By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yes, we wept when we remembered Zion. We hung our harps upon the willows in the midst of it. For there, those who carried us away captive asked of us a song, and those who plundered us requested mirth, saying, ‘Sing us one of the songs of Zion!’” (Psalm 137:1-3).

The children of God had ceased to praise. Their harps hung upon the willows, their voices silent.

But wait! Why did they refuse to sing? Their captors were mocking them, making light of their God. Zion’s song was for worship, not entertainment.

How Shall We Sing the Lord’s Song in a Foreign Land?

Praise is for worship, not for entertainment.

The next verses say, “How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land? If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its skill! If I do not remember you, let my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth — if I do not exalt Jerusalem above my chief joy” (verses 4-6).

where are You, Lord, in my difficult season?

This outward behavior reflected their difficult place.

Their inward reflections of heart and mind revealed their steadfast love of God, their complete trust in Him. Deep within, I believe, the lessons of Moses resonated, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

This had sustained them in their captivity.

Worship had never left their hearts.

Like the Israelites, I long to be free from the captivity of the enemy that threatens to consume me. I long for Zion, that happy, familiar place.

where are You, Lord, in my difficult season?

But … Zion is within me. I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. He resides within me.

The truth of God’s unfailing love, His abiding Presence, sets us free from the clutches of the enemy. Understanding who He is, loving Him by bringing our thoughts captive to Him where they are subject to His cleansing and renewal — loving the Lord our God with all our minds … answer the question, “Where are You, Lord, in my difficult place?”.

Worship has never left my heart. My deep love for the Lord has remained steadfast through this very difficult season.

I now recognize the lies of the enemy taunting me to play him a song of Zion as he slinks away laughing.

Where Are You, Lord, in My Difficult Season?

But don’t you see? His lies are empty. His lies to you are empty as well. During a season of difficulty riddled with more questions than answers, washed with salty tears, a genuine feeling of loss — God is there. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us.

where are You, Lord, in my difficult season?

Not ever.

Psalm 138:7 reads, “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The Lord will complete that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever…”

Sing for joy weary traveler. God is carrying us over to the other side step by step, strength by strength. Sorrow and mourning shall flee away.

Selah

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Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.

Sweet blessings to you,

NAN