Lord, I trusted You. I really did. I shared all of my dreams with You, my heart’s desires, my plans — I gave them all to You because I trust in Your faithfulness. I know Your goodness.
I know that I know You hear me when I call out to you … and You respond.
But now everything seems to be on hold. Now, sometimes, I wonder if You care about my disappointments, my difficulty in seeing everything come to a halt while I wait.
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I tucked my legs beneath me and curled up on the couch sipping a warm cup of coffee. Opening the pages of My Utmost for His Highest, I read Oswald Chambers’ wise words:
“Being saved and seeing Jesus are not the same thing. Many are partakers of God’s grace who have never seen Jesus. When once you have seen Jesus, you can never be the same, other things do not appeal as they used to do.”
I pondered these words for quite some time seeking understanding.
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O Lord, You are the Most High God, Maker of heaven and earth. You are my God and I praise You.
I worship You.
I adore You, even when I can’t understand — even when the fires of affliction burn hot and seek to destroy me.
Even then.
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He was so tiny. All six legs moved in synch as his jaws struggled to carry the beetle delicacy across the porch, down the steps, through the dense foliage of an uncut lawn, and into his ant hill where family and friends awaited
.n ant. A tiny, red ant.
I wonder if he realized how outsized he was by the ugly black beetle — a mere little soldier ant versus what must have seemed to be a gargantuan bug. Big. Ugly. And complete with those prickly legs.
Honestly, the ant didn’t seem fazed.
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Lord, I clearly heard You say, “Come! Step out of the boat.” And I did. I stepped out because I know that I know I can trust You. You, Lord, are faithful and true.
You are my Abba, Father — my Daddy God — who would never cause me harm. You pursue me with Your love. Your goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life.
Lord, I know these things to be true, and by faith I walk in this knowledge.
So when I heard You call me to come, I did.
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