The cold wind swirled around me, sudden gusts pushing me along the gravel road. Dry meadow grass swayed and bowed at the wind’s command. Dappled light flickered beneath the forest’s canopy up ahead.
I had been walking a while, thinking perhaps too much, questioning the ways of the Lord — not with accusations, but with a heartfelt desire to understand.
I Needed a Reprieve from the Constant Assault of the Enemy
The past few weeks hammered away at my peace, leaving me weary of soul and needing a reprieve from the constant assault of the enemy. The wind only served to magnify my despair as its brutal chill and fierce bursts of energy nearly knocked me off my feet.
As I walked, the forest canopy thickened with evergreens. The sun glowed in the western sky awaiting its nod at the end of the day. Walking beneath the canopy the sunlight became dappled, sprinkled with patches of shadow.
The afternoon’s source of light was ahead of me, but as it shined through the trees, multiple shadows flickered across my path — a mixture of light and darkness.
In my pondering, I realized I was walking through a visual of my walk of faith.
Light and darkness. Good and evil. Hope and despair. Courage and fear.
But I asked myself, Why is the light dappled on my path?
The Spirit of the Lord stirred and whispered deep in my spirit, Because the source of light is ahead of you directing its rays towards you, piercing the obstacles with its radiance, and creating the darkness of shadows all around … just like Me.
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)
When Darkness is Shattered into a Million Patches of Dappled Light
The Lord goes before me.
His radiance lights my path.
The light of the Lord’s presence diffuses the darkness, shattering it into a million patches of dappled gray. No longer does the darkness of struggle have a hold on me. It occurred to me that with the Lord leading the way, surely goodness and mercy weren’t far behind.
I smiled and exhaled a deep contented sigh and mosied on home.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,
My family has been catapulted into the darkest arena we’ve seen in a long while. My 3 yr old grandson has recently been dx with Duchenes muscular dystrophy. How does one wrap their head around the physical attack of a 3 yr old. Your devotionals help somewhat and once we have grieved this dx perhaps we will once again see some light. Thank you
Cyndie, My heart breaks for you and your family. I’m so sorry. I have all the pat answers to give you, but that’s not what you need right now. You need a hug, and a reminder that our God see you and your family, and He knows all about it. I believe He weeps when we weep. I believe He draws near to us in our brokenness because He promised to, and because I have experienced His presence in these dreadful times.
Something that I have come to believe and understand is that, indeed, this is a fallen world where bad things happen to good people, and until Jesus returns, the earth is Satan’s domain. That’s why Jesus told us that in this world we would have tribulation: stress, pressure, and crushing pain, but to be of good cheer because He has overcome the world. He doesn’t promise there will be no suffering, but He promises His peace and comfort when it happens. He promises we won’t walk alone. He promises that when we pass through the waters and through the fire, He will be with us and carry us safely to the other side.
I don’t know why the Lord wouldn’t use His power to prevent this disease from attacking your precious grandson. (I have several similar, personal questions I plan on asking Him once I get to heaven.) But this I do know, our God is a good Father and He sees things from an eternal perspective. Whereas everything to us is monumental, to the Lord it is but a snap of the fingers. He is preparing us for eternity and it’s in the suffering that we learn who He is.
I encourage you to be honest before Him with raw emotions and questions, and then to sit still as He dries your tears. Speak the name of Jesus slowly, imagining Him drawing near. He will respond. I am adding you, your family, and your grandson to my prayer journal so I can pray daily for you. I believe during this time You will find the Lord like never before as you trust Him with the unthinkable. With a hug, Nan
This one is especially inspiring, fueled by the visuals you create, easy for us nearby to relate to, as we live the same lightness and dark. Thank you for your eloquence.
Oh Jan! You are such an encouragement to me. Thank you for your kind words. I’m so thankful you were touched.