My gaze landed on the mountaintop in the distance. Blue-purple ribbons of rolling hills surrounded the giant dome. I was in the battle of faith and despair, trying to let faith win out. Why are you troubled and weary, Nan? I asked myself. Why so downcast? Put your hope in God, Maker of heaven and earth.
I Want to Always Live Within Love’s Realm, Trusting Without Question
I often lecture myself. I suppose King David did the same. Throughout the psalms, his dialogue addresses the battle of faith and despair, spirit and flesh. Mountaintops reminded David of God, just like they do for me.
There’s something about the majesty of the mountain’s crest reaching towards the sky where heaven and earth meet. It calls to me as the butterfly calls to a child who joins in a playful dance of pursuit.
I want my pursuit of God to be like a child — filled with wonder. Filled with joy. Not questioning love, but always living within love’s realm, trusting without question.
I want my heart to burst with song at the mention of His Name, for thanksgiving to rise on the hardest of days because I know He loves me, and I know He sees me, and I know He cares.
I want the battle of faith and despair to be a thing of the past, for my heart to be steadfast in the promises of God.
“For the Lord is a great God, a great King above all gods. He holds in His hands the depths of the earth and the mightiest mountains. The sea belongs to Him, for He made it.” ~Psalm 95:3
I lifted my eyes toward the mountaintop once again. Apricot clouds against a lavender sky were skirting past proclaiming the day’s end. I rested in the knowledge that my great God holds that mountaintop in His hands, just as He holds me. And steadies me. And is my sure place when my soul is troubled and weary, and nothing makes sense.
Our God is Greater than the Battle of Faith and Despair
“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you restless and disturbed within me?
Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him,
The help of my [sad] countenance and my God.” ~ Psalm 43:5, AMP
Indeed, our God is a great God. On Him, we can depend.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to share what’s on your heart in the comments below. Scroll a little farther down and you’ll see where you can leave your comments. Together, we can find the nearness of God in our darkest moments.
Sweet blessings to you,