I curled my bare toes into the freshly mowed grass. Stretched out, resting on my elbows, I thought about the Lord on this early fall day. So many needs. So many fears. Such despair from all corners of the earth. I would surely lose hope, but I remembered — I remembered my Father’s name is I AM.
I AM anything you have need of: protection, provision, strength, peace, healing …
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Lord, how magnificent is Your Name in all the earth! You are beyond wonderful. Even when life is ridiculously hard, You remain faithful — the eyes of the Lord are always upon me.
Thank You for Your watch-care, for Your tender mercies new every morning.
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Lord, I am so heavy-laden. My heart is overwhelmed. I’m drowning in fear and sorrow — slipping quickly into the pit of despair.
But I see Your hand reaching toward me. You have been a strong tower to me, O Lord. Do not leave me in my despair. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I!
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In my quest for understanding, I observed marshmallow clouds melting into a frothy veil of fog coming over the mountain ridge. The thick white blanket settled softly, blurring the line between heaven and earth. Dandelion wisps of cool foggy air moved in and out of the forest’s edge — the contrast of light and darkness exaggerated, spotlighted.
Indeed, there is a contrast.
This mystery of Light and darkness.
Lord, You are my strength and my shield. My heart trusts in You. My soul finds rest in You, even when silence is Your response to me.
I still trust You.
But it’s hard.
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My gaze landed on the mountaintop in the distance. Blue-purple ribbons of rolling hills surrounded the giant dome. Why are you troubled and weary, Nan? I asked myself. Why so downcast? Put your hope in God, Maker of heaven and earth.
I often lecture myself. I suppose King David did the same. Throughout the psalms his dialogue addresses the battle of spirit and flesh, faith and despair. Mountaintops reminded David of God, just like they do for me.
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Lord, You search me and know me. You know all my anxious thoughts, my dreams, my desires. You know I’m expecting rain in my season of drought.
And You know I’m trying hard to walk by faith and not by sight.
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