The evening sky burned with the fiery orange of a setting sun, reflecting the anguish within me. I watched as God’s consuming fire seemed to melt away the hard edges of the day. Colors intense. Brilliant. Ablaze. I found myself caught up in its glory while I wrestled with how to have a thankful heart in my difficult places.
My wrestling led me to the Lord.
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Lord, Your Holy Spirit within me has planted the seed of Your peace deep in the recesses of my heart. It’s there. But I must LET peace rule in my heart — You don’t force it on me.
Let. That’s a big word contained in just three letters.
It tells me that I have a choice — to let peace rule in my heart … or not. It’s up to me.
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Wounds of the heart can grow bitterness. Ugliness. Anguish, or distress.
Or … wounds of the heart can grow good seeds of grain, crushed to produce life-giving bread to feed others. Deep faith can grow with roots steady and strong. Eyes can open to see abounding grace and the abiding presence of the Lord.
It’s a choice.
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Lord, steady my heart. Lead me in paths of righteousness for Your Name’s sake, for the world has gone mad and the darkness grows. Awaken the dawn, Lord …
Because of Your mercy and goodness, please awaken the dawn.
You are the Light of the world ! I am Your Light-bearer. Forgive me when I allow my light to grow dim.
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Oyster gray was the color of the afternoon — the sky, my thoughts, and my heart. It was as though dullness permeated everything about me and all that lay within me. Why does depression make me feel separated from God?
Oh, for sure I knew He hadn’t gone anywhere — in fact I knew according to His promise He had drawn nearer to me in my depression. But I found myself walking according to my feelings and not according to His Truth.
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