Lord, You are my strength, my hope, my joy. This I know and this I believe. Yet a spirit of heaviness has taken hold — I haven’t been able to release its grip. Would You anoint me with the oil of joy, and help me put on a garment of praise?
The trials have been fierce lately — relentless. Suffocating. But I know You are with me. I know that in Your presence is fullness of joy.
Why can’t I access it?
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I watched the hawk lift from its perch in the top of the tall pine. His wings spread wide as he swooped toward the meadow, the sun burnishing his rusty feathers with glints of red and gold.
He was beautiful against the winter sky.
His beauty deceptive to the reality of his intent.
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Lord, I’m so thankful I can depend on You. I’m so thankful for Your longsuffering, especially when I drag my feet in surrender. I want You to lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, but I’ll need a boost — a foothold to find my way up.
Clearly, I trust You to take care of me, so why am I struggling so? I hear You whisper, Let not Your heart be troubled. You remind me to be anxious for nothing but in everything with thanksgiving let my requests be made known to You … and You will take care of the rest.
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Remnants of snow lay heavy on the stark branches of winter. A faint glow in the eastern sky spoke of the awakening dawn pushing against the blanket of clouds covering the earth.
Stillness. Quiet.
Just moments earlier I had asked the Lord to quiet me with His love — to still my restless thoughts where anxiety lay.
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I love You, Lord. I am astounded by Your goodness to me, Your faithfulness that reaches to the heavens. And yet, I’m overwhelmed. Will You fill my hungry soul Lord?
Like deep calls to deep, I call to You as difficulty washes over me. I know You won’t let me drown, and yet some days I feel like I’m gasping for air. The enemy’s taunts are relentless, his lies often believable. His flaming arrows hurt, and my arm grows weary from lifting high my shield of faith.
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Lord, the Christmas bells are still ringing, twinkling lights still dot the landscape. Sanctuaries still announce Your birth with red, gold, and silver raiment laced through the evergreens, and yet a spirit of heaviness weighs me and many others down. I need a breakthrough of joy, Lord. Rescue me from this sadness.
It has no rhyme or reason — this sadness. It just is. Perhaps it’s an accumulation of sadness — sorrow upon sorrow until now it is beginning to consume me.
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Lord, I am so thankful that when I walk thorough the fire, I won’t be burned because You are with me. When I walk through the turbulent water, I won’t drown because You will carry me safely to the other side. I believe this, and yet my heart is struggling. Please quiet me with Your love Lord.
Your peace is all about me and settles me in my times of need — but I’m struggling beneath the burdens of others. I see their pain, the injustices, the devastation of lives lost, and my heart breaks. I want to fix it for them, but I can’t.
You can, Lord.
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